We all long to touch something, to feel the texture, to slowly glide our hands over and feel warmth or cold. The need for touch provides the sense of ability to know if something is true or not. By only being able to look at something from a distance it is hard for the mind to know if it is actually real or an imagination. A imagination that is brought to life by the weary mind. There is a reason why mirages come to life. The mind decides what is actually real and false. Without the ability to touch, sense it and taste it we do not know how to official act or react. As I was walking Bo today, I stood for the first time in front of a massive body of water and wondered to myself is that real or is my mind making up a beauty that I really needed today.
A beauty, that was so pure and complex that melted a troubled heart. Earlier today while driving over the intense bridge that connects me into Corpus Christi I watched two little boats emerge from the dock and enter the sea. The larger more mysterious ship was so far ahead that it took concentration to know of it’s existence. As you look around in careful sight you witness a world of unknown under the sea and above. I watch pelicans everyday and everyday they are more of a mystery to me. They do not like to be close to people and seem to have no consistency with water. On some days they float in the most brutal waves and then other days relax in calm, clear, peaceful water. On this morning, however, they changed. They did not want anything to do with the water, but that was not the oddest thing. The oddest thing was that no bird wanted part of the water. They all flew above it like it was the danger to them, or they sensed something was wrong. The pelicans gilded in smooth with their wings at full length. They hit the water, and sat in a tight position, but within a second, they flew off again. There was nothing to keep them still or comfortable. As the day progressed so did the behavior. The seagulls continued to follow that behavior and rotated from wire to wire.
They flew after each other in an aggressive manner and seemed frustrated with each other. They were like two friends who had realized how much hatred they had for each other. The hatred over time, exploded vs. a glass of Tennessee whiskey over ice. It was not smooth, comforting or desirable. I wanted to know if the sea in front of me was real, but sometimes the truth masks what you really do not want to know. I want to look out to the large body of imagination, take a deep breath and enjoy the visual. I know in all reality it is true, however, I cannot fully touch it, unlike a mountain of strength. I can touch, hike and see a mountain from near and far. I can smell it, taste, and be one with it. A body of mysterious water is hard to be one with, for it glides off your body like Dove body wash. It was nice and peaceful for a few seconds, but gone as fast as it arrived. A mountain is similar to a glass of brandy. It leaves a taste and an affect.
You don’t leave a mountain without a mark and you leave it as untamed as you found it. The sea is however, similar once again; it is wild, but different. The layers of both are complex, and the system that surrounds them is tied together in a bigger life view. We only touch them for a brief moment, but that brief moment has lasting impact. I look at the RV’s that surround me and call the beach home for now. We all wait for the next flood or hurricane to hit. I have been planning my escape for a bit of time, but when that day comes, I will feel betrayed, for I know the sea can truly not be trusted. A mountain may make you run for your life in different ways, but cannot drown you. That is a bothering thought to think that this large body of water that surrounds me can actually drown me. I have feared the water for a long time, and my largest fear is to engulfed by it. To be eaten like a fly in an alligator’s mouth. There is no memory, no feeling, or care that that alligator ate a fly. It was gone, just as we could all be. That sea that we could not touch would touch us in a devastating manner. An effect that creates lasting fear, damage and lack of trust within a few second of time.